I am so much more than a religion

Sexual assault: now in Men's

Wed, 30 Dec 2009 01:51:45 GMT

A guy decided to ruffle my hair and caress my cheek in the bathroom at work. I was too shocked to tell him, "No." He called me cute a few times, asked if I was straight. Mostly harmless, but certainly unwarranted.

Yes

Fri, 25 Dec 2009 03:52:24 GMT

Explaning to a co-worker

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 20:12:42 GMT

what do you see out of that eye?

Nothing.

don't you see black?

No, it's like it doesn't exist.

but when i close one eye I see black. i don't get "nothing".

What do you see out of your hand?

i don't see anything on my hand.

Not on it, with it. Hold your hand out and tell me what your hand sees.

what? my hand can't see anything.

That's my left eye.

2 years later

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 05:36:13 GMT

I finally called my dad. I had to go through 411 because none of the 3 numbers I had worked. My dog Sarah died. Colin went through puberty. Dad cried. Chris still in a hole.

Emotion.

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 18:46:25 GMT

* Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
* Witness: "No."
* Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
* Witness: "No."
* Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
* Witness: "No."
* Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
* Witness: "No."
* Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
* Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
* Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
* Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."

Great feeling

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 02:23:35 GMT

Counting what you think are 7x 20 dollar bills in your stash only to realize all of them are 100s. Papa is finally in the black. As of this check I have the amount of money I started with when I moved to Portland in 03.

Finally

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 05:39:30 GMT

*A game where the elves suck and piss me off.

*A game where the dwarves rock and make me smile- without being aesthetically irritating.

I only hope it stops being predictable.

What they didn't tell you

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 03:27:14 GMT

They ignore your tactics completely. And when you move with a keyboard your party doesn't follow you.

A comedy script in my archives that I realized was finished

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 18:43:40 GMT

Setting: Third grade
---
Chatper 1 : Flex

"So what do you want to be when you grow up?" - Teacher

"I want to be Lieutenant Mike Birchwood, astronaut." -Awesome student.
"I want to be a pink dinosaur." -Female student.

Teacher raises his eyebrow and holds his laughter

"How about you David? What do you want to be when you grow up?"

David slowly raises his head...

"Bulletproof."

Chapter 2 : Armageddon

Hey, Alex

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 16:39:22 GMT

Relinquish my human.

Damn moneyz

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 05:15:08 GMT

Internet messengers are dead.

Cell phones killed them with text messaging, and basically being a computer. Nice knowing you starboy.

P.S. Kevin, get with the times. You no-car-having-fuck that we can't even call to bitch at.

Damn moneyz

This is for my nano, please respond

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 05:37:47 GMT

View Poll: Work week

November 1st

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 20:28:09 GMT

National novel writing month is on. I believe in you. But seriously, start now.

Sam. I want to see the story you're been working on, too.
Mark. I trust you to be committed.

Everyone else. I don't know who else is even trying, but Go Go Gadget Pen.

Duffman can't breathe

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 03:32:58 GMT

Duff beer for me
Duff beer for you
I'll have a Duff
You have one, too

My second best birthday present this year

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 16:28:04 GMT

Star Wars
Jek Porkins
X-wing Pilot

Statistics
Strength        15/20
Speed           12/20
Endurance 13/20
Intelligence 10/20

For more information visit
www.starwars.hasbro.com

Skills
Flight skills:
Piloting - Jek was a champion skyhopper jockey on his homeworld. The transition from T-16 skyhopper to X-wing starfighter is a smooth one.

Targeting - In under 40 hours of actual cockpit time, Jek racked up an impressive 16 kills, all confirmed.

Growing up on Bestine IV, Jek hunted sink crabs while flying his skyhopper over rocky islands. The hunt required that he shoot from low altitudes while maintaining high speeds. he became very good at such strafing runs. After the Empire took over Bestine IV, they banished the entire populace into space. Jek joined the Alliance to fight the empire, and he had the hope that he might one day reclaim his beloved homeworld. As a rebel pilot, lieutenant Porkins served as Tierfon Yellow squadron at tierfon rebel outpost. For his courage and sacrifice at the battle of Yavin, he was awarded the Kenobi Medallion.

Gear
Rebel Blaster - Although most of his combat was from the cockpit of his X-wing, Jek still carried this blaster in case of emergencies.

Life Support Unit - This device is standard issue to all X-wing pilots. It monitors the pilot and automatically adjusts conditions inside the starfighter.

Helmet - Besides providing protection, these insulated helmets also have a sophisticated built-in communication system.

Tech
X-wing - The T-65 X-wing is one of the alliance's most advanced starfighters. Equipped with a hyperdrive and powerful sublight engine, it has a socket for an astromech droid, four long-range cannons, and can carry a small payload of proton torpedoes.

Astromech Droid - Jek's astromech droid R5-D8 first flew with Jek in Tierfon yellow squadron.

Allies and enemies
Allies - Biggs Darklighter, Luke Skywalker, General Dodonna, Princess Leia Organa
Enemies - TIE fighter pilot, Darth Vader, Grand Moff Tarkin, Death star trooper.

Adventures
Death star attack - The empire has construction a super-weapon called the death star. It has the potential to eliminate the rebellion. Can Jek Porkins make strafing runs alone the death star's surface and knock out enemey cannons to clear the way for a wave of X-wings?

Protect your wing man!
The imperials have learned of the rebels' plan to destroy the death star, and have unleashed a legion of TIE fighters to stop them. can Jek Porkins defend Luke Skywalker by taking out the fighters?

For more cool stuff visit
www.starwars.hasbro.com

Jek Porkins
Once a free trader on Bestine IV, Jek joined the rebel alliance after his homeworld was conquered by the empire. He quickly became known as one of the alliance's most skilled pilots. When he attacked the death star during the battle of Yavin, his comm-unit designation was Red Six.

Vital statistics:
Species:                  Human
Height:                     1.78 meters
Homeworld:           Bestine IV
Printed in china       5708440000

Star wars Jedi quest kids club.

October 29th

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 01:07:36 GMT

I turn 26. There is no party. Don't buy me anything (because it's what I got you). I'll gladly accept high-5's and shared moments as b-day currency.

The cluster bomb that escaped my father

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 18:52:16 GMT

Que linda me la traiga Cuba,
La reina de la Mar Caribe.
Cielo sol no tiene sangre allí,
y que triste que no puedo vaya,
Oh va, oh va, va.

Reading writing books and exploring memories of memories has led me.... "Stuff my pa would listen to; volume 2": Csny, Cat Stevens, Kansas, James Taylor, Pink Floyd. I write because my father listens to writers. When I call we have nothing to say. When I shut off the world the same preachings come spilling out every time. I leak forumulae instead of emotion. I become what I believe my father to see, and he seems to only see the light at the end of the tunnel. Mirrors drawing a different conclusion from the same image. What I learned today is:

To discover its passion we need only cover its sleepwalking hands in ink.

Writing again

Thu, 08 Oct 2009 20:41:21 GMT

     A world of people without thought. They are the majority and want change. The kind of people that believe "Anarchy" means "no leaders", not "no laws". Unwilling to come to terms with the value of organization. They can all tell you you're wrong but none could say what is right. Waves of children that understand language but can't repeat it. We've been on corporate autopilot so long that they never had a reason to think passed Fubu and free money.

    But we're running low on rich, suited grandpas. We have to survive on our broke parents to watch our fifth child while we wait in line for someone else's money- betweeen working on a sixth child with a man other than the one we're soon-to-be-divorced from. I don't know how we loved them. They were almost as big an asshole as we. It's a small matter...the ring was as fake as our emotions passed ejaculation. The one we're cheating with is "nastier" in bed anyway. So fuck them (probably the next time they call).

    Without that stability you won't have food as readily for your seventh child. You won't have that satisfying orgasm when you spend "quality time" with the man who knew the top of your head before your name. This time you really meant it...you really needed it. Your life is hard. Hard, and beyond your control. You were dealt this hand and this happy meal by God.

    And what the fuck! Why can't I buy my cigarettes or beer with food stamps? Such a hassle when your eldest is bitchin' 'bout baby formula. Have to hit them to shut them off. It's not like you can afford both. Kids are so fucking selfish. Hard, this life. Broad, its failures. Bland, its drugless days. At least we're entitled to the good life when my last dollar's lotto ticket rides me straight into the lipo clinic in my stretch hummer. Then I'll hold the power over my next hollow fuck-buddy. I'll be more idolized by "my peoples". Not that I'd need them while I have a staggering sackful of benjamins nearing pesoville (in value). We should be catering to them already, really. Who cares when in Rome. Soon: America will be the new Tijuana, I'll be too drunk to give a shit (so will ten of my twelve kids that are too young to be in jail), and Trent Reznor will be making another album about what he thinks instead of how he feels.

Newegg

Fri, 02 Oct 2009 07:09:12 GMT

I have a computer again. Gol' Durn video card blew up.

Well...I don't think I passed..

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 17:40:14 GMT

Privilege Meme
Bold whatever applies to you

1. Father went to college
2. Father finished college
3. Mother went to college
4. Mother finished college
5. Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor
6. Were the same or higher social class than your high school teachers
7. Had more than 50 books in your childhood home.
8. Had more than 500 books in your childhood home.
9. Were read children's books by a parent
10. Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18
11. Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18
12. The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively.
13. Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18
14. Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs
15. Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs
16. Went to a private high school
17. Went to summer camp
18. Had a private tutor before you turned 18
19. Family vacations involved staying at hotels
20. Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18
21. Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them
22. There was original art in your house when you were a child
23. Had a phone in your room before you turned 18
24. You and your family lived in a single family house.
25. Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home.
26. You had your own room as a child
27. Participated in an SAT/ACT prep course
28. Had your own TV in your room in high school
29. Owned (an investment) in high school or college
30. Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16
32. Went on more than one cruise with your family
33. Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up (occasionally.)
34. You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family.
35. I am for the most part healthy and have no significant disability. (unless you count a lot of mental illness)
36. I have been born into a gender which I am comfortable with. - What?
37. My sexuality is viewed positively in the media and by the majority of my society.
38. My sexuality is not visible to others just by looking at me.
39. My peer group is represented positively in the media and embraced positively by the majority of society.
40. My ethnic group is represented positively in the media and rarely stigmatized or stereotyped.
41. The language spoken by teachers in school was the same language as that I spoke with my family at home.
42. My parents and teachers took it for granted that I would attend university.
43. Any money I earned at part-time jobs before I turned 18 was mine to keep or put towards my education.
44. I know what my family's genetic history is.
45. When people see me with my parents, they assume we're related.
46. I graduated from college or university with (almost) no debt.
47. During college or university, I could use income from part-time jobs to supplement my spending money.

Dreams

Sun, 06 Sep 2009 05:02:34 GMT

Hey, retardos, why can't you walk over here?
You've been out mending fences, probably can't even walk now.
But retardos, meet your warm, golden cure,
'Cause you've been out mending fences where you'll never walk alone.
So send me some money or I'll bang you up,
Yes, I'll bang you right up your ass.

So retardos number one forever.

Ladies and gentlemen, if I could just have a moment of your time. Help us save a life, perhaps yours, drop by precious drop. Because we're all the same yellow color inside. Thank you. Only with your urine can we be curin', so please, get up and pee in a cup. And remember, retardos number one, forever.

My turn

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 17:14:14 GMT

Vorlind
 
As a valued League of Legends tester we want to make sure that you can test 
with your friends so we are handing out some friend keys.
 
As of today you have 3 that you can send to your friends. 
 
Click here to send them out: http://signup.leagueoflegends.com/invitations
 
Be sure to visit the forums with any feedback you may have: 
http://beta.leagueoflegends.com/board/index.php
 
- Riot Games Community Team

Great story

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 07:22:05 GMT

I haven't been able to actually read anything on here in months. I get to line 2, and stop caring. Sorry.

That's what I get for looking up Coldplay lyrics.

Tue, 02 Jun 2009 07:09:47 GMT

by LedaTokyo on May 23, 2009 at 06:03 AM

I'm sitting in the dark castle. He left me in here. My father, he rules the world. He is strong and intelligent. But I'm beautiful. I was more famous than him. He got very jealous and sent me to this empty castle. He decided to free me when the world got old and most eldest person will ever remember me. Therefore I've been here millions of year. Perhaps everone have forgetten me. But now, unfortunately everyone died and my father great king too. I'm here. Days last like an aternity. I draw pictures on the wall. Picture about my life. May be they think that they imprsoned me. In the real matter they locked up theirself. I am freedom. May be they think they are living outside of the castle and free. No they're living in the outside without freedom. Because I'm the freedom.

Name this show

Sat, 02 May 2009 23:28:57 GMT

"Conflict of Interest"